Rosemary and I tried for our 2nd child for more than a year. We wanted another baby because we thought Megan would be very happy with a playmate. After many months of trying, Raeanne finally came. When we discovered that we were going to have little Raeanne, we were, of course, very excited. But the excitement came with a time of fear and anxiousness. Firstly, we were supposed to be going to Batam for a short break and Rosemary was going to Australia for her band trip. However, when we found out about it, we had to cancel our trips. You have to understand our first baby, Megan, was a very easy baby (I will blog about her another time).
On the 4th month of expecting Raeanne, we were given the option of taking some blood test. As all excited parents were, we opted for everything, not knowing the actual implications of taking these tests. We opted to do the Triple Screening. The triple screening was suppose to screen the the unborn baby of alpha-fetoprotein, human chorionic gonadotropin and unconjugated estriol. For the non-medical students, which is what I am, it means you can determine if your kid is at risk of any birth defects such as Down syndrome and neural tube defects.The results of the Screening indicated a high risk, ie 1 / 98 of having a child that may be abnormal. Which means that out of 100kids, there was 1 chance that the baby may be down and that chance could be yours. I was very anxious and worried. My thoughts play back all the what "ifs".. my biggest concern was how are we going to bring the kid up but yet provide for Megan and not compromising our love and attention for her.
People mentioned that how you feel, the kid in the womb can feel it. I tried to hide my rejection very much.
We met up with the Doctor and he explained to us the options we had. Our faith in our christian faith really brought us through. Our core values as Christians really started to be put to test. All parents wants a perfect kid. Abortion was an option, but as Christian parents we knew that the option is not an option because God is the one who have given us this gift especially since we prayed very hard for her. The Doctor suggested that we go for an amnio test which implied that a needle needs to be stuck into the tummy and extract the amnio acid for testings. This has a 5% risk. The fluid is then send for test to rule out Down Syndrome. On hindsight, thought this is very stupid. Come on we are doing all these test to rule out what is something we are not sure if its true. We prayed about it and decided that we are not going to do anything about it and ask God for the His peace which surpasses our own human understanding to overwhelm us.
I felt so helpless. Its something that we could do nothing about. Absolutely nothing! You cannot take medicine, no amount of money can do anything, no amount of anything we can do can change what is in the womb. My love language for my kids are acts of love. I tend to want to do things for my girls to show them my love. For me, it was very difficult because I could do nothing.
The worse about this is that this is only a screening which means medically they take your blood sample, roast it with some known data and match the profile to those that have tested and determine if your kid is down or not. This is not a diagnostic test but a screening test. And we have ourselves to worry about it for the next 6 months. This is the worse thing that can happen to a pregnancy. For my wife, I wanted to make the environment comfortable and try as much to let her enjoy her pregnancy but at the back of your mind I am affected and you know that there is a chance that the little girl could be down. I searched inside me and ask God, did I do something that did not please you. I told God, don't punish Megan because of what her daddy may have done. We ask, we ask and we ask. The few months, we felt as if God was so far away. Everything don't seem to be running in favour of us. That is why we decided to name her Raeanne meaning Favoured Grace while Rui En (恩睿) means favor and far sighted by the Grace of God. So each time we call her that we are reminded of who she is. Sort of a promise proclaimed on her forever.
You know, God is good and I understood what it means to have Faith in God as well as His Grace was sufficient for us. Faith was believing in something which you cannot see, which in this case was something I cannot see. Grace is the unmerited love and favor of God in Christ. What we thought we knew as Christians all these years became really real to us when Raeanne came. Only a few of us were aware of this. Even the 2 mums were not aware of as we did not want them to be worried.
Raeanne was born on 28 December 2006 at 1600hrs sharp. The first question I asked the Pedia when he saw him was is Raeanne normal. ha the first answer that came was "Mr Song, Don't ask this question, can't you see? She is very alert!"
For that is getting to know Raeanne, you will know that this kid is a thinker. She loves with her mind. She is extremely witty and cheeky, always up to her tricks. She is able to get what she wants by manipulating you and runs all over you if you allow her. She 'bullys' everyone and is a goal getter. And you know something, she is very well favored everywhere she goes. Sound likes this daddy is self praising but really if you know her you will know her as someone who is very lovable and favored even though she is very cheeky. Praise God!
Now looking back, we learnt very important lessons.
1. Don't go for a test which we don't know the implications. I discourage all to do the Triple test its nonscience and non conclusive.
2. There is indeed power in what we name our Kids.
1. Don't go for a test which we don't know the implications. I discourage all to do the Triple test its nonscience and non conclusive.
2. There is indeed power in what we name our Kids.
The credit goes to God really. Had we not been for Christians, I am not sure if we have the strength to not put the kid at any risk. I can't be sure what this Girl is going to be like in future, but we are enjoying her very much together with Megan and Gwyneth. The 3 of them are such a blessing of joy.
